what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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