I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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