Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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