you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
