i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
