I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
