If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You ruined the universe
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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