honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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