before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You dont lie about slip and slides
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
