WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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