Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
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we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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