The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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