he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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