i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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