So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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