she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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