It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
