when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
