those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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