physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize