The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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