I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
