Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
