So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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