hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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