Your tits are I can't wait for
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
