Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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