I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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