There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
