a search helicopter?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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