This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
