guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i will never coherently bang her
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize