just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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