Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
