she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
