Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen

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(720): View more from Colorado

I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(580): View more from Oklahoma

And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.

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(470): View more from Georgia

My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian

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(631): View more from New York

lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.

(631): View more from New York

i think i have dick pic PTSD.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.

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