How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
