you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
