Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
