It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We have so much sex to catch up on
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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