After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
