i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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