singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
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We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
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We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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