i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
my poor anus
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
