We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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