ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
