Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
