Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
