that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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