WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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