is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
