so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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