I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
