it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
