I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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