Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
