The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize