not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My vagina is officially offended.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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