I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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